“If Source there is no smoking in heaven, I shall not go there.”
This famous declaration captures the essence of Mark Twain. It blends his sharp wit with his legendary love for cigars. For years, people have attributed this sentiment to the great American author. However, the exact wording and its true origin remain a fascinating puzzle. Did Samuel Clemens truly issue this ultimatum to the heavens? The investigation reveals a story as compelling as any of his novels.
The Many Faces of a Famous Quote
Like many popular sayings, this quote has several variations. Each version has circulated widely, adding layers to the mystery. One common phrasing suggests Twain declared that if he could not smoke in heaven, he would not go. Another version specifically mentions cigars as the non-negotiable item for entry. A third, slightly different version states, “If there is smoking in heaven, I want to go there.”
These distinctions are more than just trivial word changes. They are crucial clues in the hunt for the authentic statement. While all three reflect Twain’s well-documented attachment to tobacco, only one has a strong historical anchor. Tracing these threads helps us understand how a personal remark becomes a cultural touchstone. The journey takes us through family memoirs, personal notebooks, and the broader cultural humor of the 19th century.
Pinpointing the Most Credible Source
The strongest piece of evidence comes from someone who knew Twain intimately. In 1929, Mark Twain’s cousin, James Ross Clemens, published an article in the “Overland Monthly.” He shared personal anecdotes about the famous writer’s daily life and habits. James described Twain’s deep-seated fear that doctors might one day forbid him from smoking his beloved cigars.
Within this personal account, James provided a direct quotation. Source He recalled his cousin fervently exclaiming, “If there is smoking in Heaven I want to go there.” This familial testimony is incredibly valuable. Because it comes from a close relative, it carries more weight than secondhand stories. Furthermore, the context provided by James—Twain’s profound connection to his cigars—makes the quote feel genuine and not like a later invention.
A Common Sentiment of the Era
Interestingly, making conditional demands about the afterlife was a popular form of humor in Twain’s time. The structure of his supposed quote was not entirely unique. This suggests he was tapping into a familiar comedic template. For example, an 1855 issue of “The New York Times” featured a story about a little girl. She declared she would not go to heaven if it had no dolls.
This theme appeared elsewhere, too. In 1895, a London periodical told of a vicar who said he would not care for heaven if dogs were not allowed. These examples show a cultural fascination with defining paradise on one’s own terms. Therefore, Twain’s remark about smoking fits perfectly within a larger tradition of playful irreverence. It was a sentiment that audiences of the time would have readily understood and appreciated.
Clues from Twain’s Private Notebooks
Further evidence of Twain’s mindset comes from his own private writings. His personal notebooks, published in 1935, contain thoughts that echo the sentiment of the smoking quote. Around 1898, he jotted down some musings about swearing. Twain humorously noted that people should swear while they can on Earth. He reasoned that the activity would not be permitted in heaven.
He even wrote that if he could not swear in heaven, he would not want to stay there. This parallel is striking. It shows that Twain genuinely thought about the afterlife in these defiant and humorous terms. While these notes do not prove he uttered the exact smoking quote, they confirm his character. The sentiment behind refusing a heaven that restricts his earthly pleasures was clearly part of his personal philosophy. This consistency makes the attribution of the smoking quote highly plausible.
The Quote’s Enduring Legacy
Over the years, the quote has become inseparable from Mark Twain’s public image. It solidified its place in popular culture through various retellings and performances. In 1909, humorist Oliver Herford published a poem where St. Peter removes a “No Smoking” sign to welcome Twain into heaven. This creative work shows how strongly the public associated the author with tobacco.
Later, actors who portrayed Mark Twain on stage incorporated the line into their acts. Performers like Lowell Gleason and Roger Durrett used variations of the quote to bring the character to life. Their performances helped cement the saying in the minds of new generations. Consequently, the quote has survived not just as a historical artifact but as a living piece of the Twain legend.
In summary, while several versions of the quote exist, the most credible evidence points to one specific phrase. The account from his cousin James Ross Clemens strongly supports that Twain said, “If there is smoking in Heaven I want to go there.” The sentiment perfectly aligns with his documented personality and private writings. Ultimately, the quote endures because it so perfectly captures the wit, defiance, and personality of one of America’s greatest literary figures.