“You can always tell a Harvard man,
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But you can’t tell him much.”
American collegiate humor often relies on sharp wit. Rival institutions constantly trade barbs to prove their superiority. Among these insults, one specific joke stands out for its longevity and cleverness. This witticism targets the perceived arrogance of elite students. It plays on the double meaning of the word “tell.” First, you can “tell” or identify a person by their demeanor. Second, you cannot “tell” or teach them anything because they think they know it all.
Most people associate this line with Harvard or Yale today. However, history tells a different story. The origins of this classic American wisecrack are surprisingly humble. In fact, the joke did not start on a university campus at all. Instead, it began in the service industry.
The Unexpected Origins in 1886
Research reveals that the joke first appeared in the late 19th century. Specifically, it surfaced in December 1886. The Democrat and Chronicle of Rochester, New York, published the earliest known version.
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Surprisingly, the target was not a student. It was a hotel clerk. The original humor suggested that former hotel clerks were easy to spot. Yet, teaching them anything was impossible. They already knew everything.
Newspapers across the country quickly picked up this template. Editors realized the format was adaptable. Consequently, the joke spread rapidly. By December 8, 1886, it appeared in Indiana. Two days later, a San Francisco paper printed it. Clearly, the sentiment resonated with Americans everywhere. The idea of the “know-it-all” was universal. Therefore, the joke traveled from coast to coast in mere days.
Shifting the Focus to Yale
Eventually, the humor migrated to the academic world. This transition took roughly a decade. In June 1895, the Boston Sunday Globe published a new variation. This time, the target was a Yale student. The editorial noted that identifying a “Yale man” was simple. However, conveying new information to him was futile.
This version marked a turning point. It connected the joke to Ivy League arrogance for the first time. The timing was perfect. During this era, intercollegiate rivalries were heating up. Yale students had developed a reputation for supreme confidence. Thus, the joke fit them perfectly.
Other publications soon followed suit. For example, the Daily Inter Ocean in Chicago reprinted the Yale version in July 1895. A Wisconsin newspaper did the same later that month. These papers credited the Boston Globe for the wit. As a result, the connection between elite colleges and unteachable students began to solidify in the public mind.
Expanding the Targets of the Joke
Writers and humorists realized the joke’s potential immediately. The structure allowed them to mock any group they viewed as arrogant. Consequently, variations exploded across American culture.
In July 1895, a Kansas newspaper targeted Populists. The writer claimed you could easily spot a Populist. Yet, you could not instruct him on any subject. This usage showed the joke’s political utility.
Later, the joke moved to sports. In 1902, a Rochester newspaper applied it to golfers. Two characters, Redd and Greene, discussed beginners on the links. Greene remarked that you can spot a novice, but you can’t tell him much.
Furthermore, the automobile industry provided fresh material. By 1905, cars were becoming popular. An Evansville newspaper used the format for new drivers. The joke claimed you could identify a motoring novice, but they would not listen to advice. Indeed, the joke proved incredibly versatile. It worked for almost any situation involving inexperience and overconfidence.
William Howard Taft and the Harvard Rivalry
The most famous version targets Harvard. This iteration gained national fame in 1906. William Howard Taft played a crucial role in this development. At the time, Taft served as the U.S. Secretary of War. He was also a proud Yale graduate.
In February 1906, Taft spoke at a dinner for Yale alumni in St. Louis. He seized the opportunity to roast his rivals. During his speech, he delivered the punchline. He stated that one knows a Harvard man immediately, but cannot tell him anything.
The audience erupted in laughter. The irony was palpable. President Theodore Roosevelt, Taft’s boss, was a Harvard man. Therefore, the joke carried a lighthearted political sting. Taft later became President himself. His use of the joke cemented it in American history.
The Battle for Authorship
Soon, people began debating who invented the Harvard version. Several prominent figures received credit. In May 1906, a Harvard professor named LeBaron Russell Briggs mentioned the joke. He attributed it to Arthur Twining Hadley, the President of Yale. Briggs claimed Hadley offered it as a “friendly quip.”
However, other sources disagree. A 1908 book credited James Barnes of Princeton. The author claimed Barnes originated the remark.
Additionally, a 1909 report in Brooklyn pointed to Joseph Choate. A toastmaster claimed Choate coined the phrase. These conflicting accounts create a murky history. Nevertheless, the sentiment remained consistent. Regardless of the author, the joke perfectly captured the rivalry between the schools. It became a staple of Ivy League banter.
A Lasting Cultural Legacy
The joke continued to evolve throughout the 20th century. It crossed gender and racial lines. For instance, a 1909 Kansas newspaper applied it to brides. The writer joked that you can always tell a bride, but she won’t listen.
Later, the joke reached beyond the Ivy League. In 1942, author Zora Neale Hurston used it in her autobiography. She noted that people said the same thing about men from Howard University. You could spot them from afar, she wrote, but you couldn’t tell them much.
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This adaptation demonstrates the joke’s power. It transcends specific institutions. It speaks to a universal human trait. We all know someone who is confident yet closed-minded. The joke allows us to laugh at that specific type of arrogance.
Conclusion
Today, the phrase remains a classic piece of American wit. It started with hotel clerks in the 1880s. Then, it evolved to mock Yale students. Finally, it found its permanent home targeting Harvard.
Through every iteration, the core message remained the same. It skewers the person who thinks they know everything. Whether applied to a golfer, a driver, or a student, the punchline lands. We recognize the type immediately. And, as the joke says, we certainly can’t tell them much.