Dear Sir (Or Madam), You May Be Right

Source “Dear Sir (or Madam), You May Be Right”

Public figures inevitably face criticism. Writers, politicians, and artists receive angry correspondence daily. Consequently, they must decide how to respond. Engaging with every critic consumes valuable time. Furthermore, arguing rarely changes a detractor’s mind. Anger often fuels more anger. Therefore, finding a diplomatic exit is crucial. One famous journalist mastered this art perfectly. H.L. Mencken developed a legendary strategy for handling hate mail. He simply agreed without conceding.

H. L. Mencken – American National Biography

The Mencken Method of Deflection

H.L. Mencken was a literary giant. He co-founded The American Mercury. Additionally, he wrote scathing cultural critiques. His bold opinions naturally invited hostility. Readers frequently sent him furious letters. However, Mencken did not waste energy on debates. Instead, he utilized a pre-written form letter. This response was polite yet dismissive. It acknowledged the sender’s frustration immediately.

He reportedly used a specific formula. The letter contained one key phrase. It read, “Dear Sir (or Madam), you may be right.” This sentence is a masterpiece of ambiguity. It validates the reader’s feelings. Yet, it admits absolutely nothing. Mencken did not say the reader was right. He merely suggested the possibility existed. Thus, the argument ended before it began.

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Moreover, this method offered a second benefit. It saved Mencken’s sanity. Legend says he rarely read the angry letters. He would glance at the first insulting line. Then, he instructed his secretary to send the standard reply. Consequently, he avoided the toxic content entirely. This allowed him to maintain his focus. He prioritized his work over petty squabbles.

The Psychology Behind the Phrase

Why does this short phrase work so well? primarily, it disarms the aggressor. An angry person expects a fight. They want resistance. However, Mencken denied them this satisfaction. He offered no wall to push against. Therefore, the momentum of their anger dissipated.

Additionally, the phrase is technically irrefutable. In an infinite universe, anything is possible. The critic might be right. It is a non-zero probability. Thus, the statement is factually accurate. Nevertheless, it implies indifference. It signals that the writer does not care enough to check. This subtle dismissal is powerful. It asserts dominance without aggression.

Furthermore, it closes the loop. The critic cannot reply effectively. If they continue arguing, they look foolish. Mencken had already conceded the point. Consequently, the correspondence naturally ceases. This efficiency is brilliant. It turns a potential conflict into a dead end.

A Parallel in the Boxing Ring

Interestingly, a famous boxer used a similar tactic. Jim Tully profiled Jack Dempsey in 1933. Dempsey was the heavyweight champion of the world. He knew how to fight. However, he avoided conflict outside the ring. Tully noticed Dempsey’s conversational style. The boxer deflected verbal attacks gracefully.

Dempsey reportedly used phrases like Mencken’s. He would say, “You may be right.” Alternatively, he expressed uncertainty. He refused to disagree emphatically. This kept his social interactions smooth. Tully noted that Dempsey preferred laughter to arguing. The boxer enjoyed music and drama. He liked pleasant company. Therefore, he saved his aggression for his profession.

This parallel is fascinating. Both men were fighters in their own ways. Mencken fought with words. Dempsey fought with fists. Yet, both chose pacifism in petty disputes. They understood a key truth. You do not need to win every battle. Some fights are simply distractions. Thus, a non-committal agreement is a strategic victory.

How the Legend Spread

The story of Mencken’s letter traveled fast. Literary circles loved the anecdote. Alexander Woollcott played a major role in this. He was a famous critic and radio personality. Woollcott shared the story in his letters. He admired the efficiency of the formula.

Later, Bennett Cerf documented the tale. Cerf was a prominent publisher. He included the story in his 1944 book. The book was titled Try and Stop Me. Cerf emphasized Mencken’s process. He highlighted that Mencken ignored the insult’s content. This detail delighted readers. It made the wit seem even sharper.

Subsequently, Reader’s Digest picked up the story. They published a condensed version in 1949. This brought the anecdote to millions. Suddenly, the strategy became public knowledge. It transformed into a piece of modern folklore. Writers everywhere aspired to such cool detachment.

Eyewitness Confirmation

Is the story actually true? Skeptics might wonder. Fortunately, we have credible accounts. Peg Bracken wrote an etiquette book in 1964. She recommended using Mencken’s postcard method. More importantly, she cited a source.

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Holbrook shared the origin story with Bracken. He claimed to be in Mencken’s office. This occurred in the early 1930s. George Jean Nathan was also present. Mencken received a particularly nasty letter. He frowned at the correspondence. Then, he dictated the famous reply.

However, Mencken was particular about the wording. He told Holbrook to be exact. He said, “Get it right or don’t use it.” Holbrook adopted the method himself. He used it for decades. This firsthand testimony adds weight to the legend. It suggests the strategy was real. Mencken truly practiced what he preached.

Modern Applications of the Quote

Today, this advice is more relevant than ever. Social media has amplified criticism. Trolls lurk in every comment section. Everyone has an opinion. Consequently, online arguments are endless. We can learn from Mencken.

We often feel the need to correct strangers. We want to prove them wrong. However, this urge is usually counterproductive. It wastes emotional energy. It distracts us from our goals. Therefore, we should adopt the Mencken formula.

You do not need to send a physical letter. You can simply disengage mentally. When someone attacks you online, remember the phrase. Tell yourself, “They may be right.” Then, move on. You do not need to type it out. The mindset alone is protective.

Furthermore, the variation “You may be right at that” also exists. John Ciardi used this version. He was a poetry editor. He received an insulting telegram. It called him a fool. Ciardi framed the telegram. He replied using the extended phrase. This shows the versatility of the quote. You can adapt it to fit your style.

Conclusion

H.L. Mencken left a complex legacy. His writing was sharp and often divisive. However, his method for handling critics remains timeless. He understood the value of his own time. He refused to let others dictate his mood.

“Dear Sir (or Madam), you may be right” is more than a sentence. It is a philosophy of self-preservation. It prioritizes peace over righteousness. It values sanity over victory. In a noisy world, this is a superpower. We should all keep this phrase in our pockets. The next time you face unwarranted anger, use it. You might find that it solves the problem instantly.

Quote Me, maybe?

the quote G.O.A.T.