“I don’t give advice, I give opinions.”. Source
This simple statement captures a profound approach to mentorship. It separates prescriptive direction from shared perspective. Many leaders and coaches have embraced this philosophy. However, one name stands out most prominently: John Wooden. The legendary basketball coach built a dynasty on principles that went far beyond the court. This particular idea was a cornerstone of his incredible success. It reveals a deep understanding of human psychology and effective communication.
By exploring this quote, we can uncover a more respectful and empowering way to guide others. This applies to coaching, leadership, and even our personal relationships. The distinction is subtle but incredibly powerful. It changes the dynamic from one of authority to one of collaboration. Consequently, it fosters trust and encourages independent thought.
. John Wooden – UCLA Athletics Hall of Fame
The Wisdom of a Legendary Coach
Experts widely attribute this philosophy to John Wooden. His record as the head coach of the UCLA Bruins is astonishing. He led his teams to ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period. . This achievement remains unmatched in college basketball. Yet, Wooden’s legacy is defined more by his wisdom than his wins. He saw himself as a teacher first and a coach second. Source
This philosophy shaped his interactions with his players. Instead of dictating every move, he offered his perspective. He provided them with the tools and insights to make their own decisions on the court. This approach empowered players and fostered a culture of accountability and intelligence. Bill Walton, one of Wooden’s most famous players, often spoke about this. He detailed Wooden’s unique methods in his book, highlighting how the coach turned practices into life lessons.
The Difference Between Advice and Opinion
Understanding the distinction is key. Advice often comes as a command. It says, “You should do this.” This can feel dismissive of a person’s own judgment. It implies that the advice-giver knows best, which can create resistance. While sometimes necessary, unsolicited advice can damage rapport. It shuts down conversation rather than opening it up. Communication Skills: Giving Advice vs. Sharing Opinions – University of California, Davis
On the other hand, an opinion is an offering. It sounds more like, “Here’s how I see it,” or “One thing you might consider is…” This framing respects the other person’s autonomy. It invites them into a dialogue. It allows them to weigh the perspective alongside their own thoughts and experiences. Ultimately, the final decision rests with them. This collaborative spirit builds confidence and strengthens relationships. People are more receptive to ideas when they feel they have a choice.
A Philosophy Supported by Evidence
Multiple sources confirm Wooden‘s connection to this phrase. For instance, in a February 1994 article, a sports journalist for the Lexington Herald-Leader quoted Wooden directly. . The coach explained why he preferred offering opinions to younger coaches. He felt he couldn’t possibly know all the specifics of their unique situations. Source
Further evidence appeared over the years. In 1997, The Indianapolis News documented Wooden’s mentorship of then-UCLA coach Steve Lavin. The article specifically quoted Wooden using the exact phrase. This demonstrates his consistent application of the principle long after his official retirement. After Wooden passed away in 2010, the Associated Press published reflections from those who knew him. Former UCLA coach Jim Harrick reinforced the idea, noting Wooden’s humility and his preference for sharing opinions over giving orders. John Wooden – UCLA Bruins Official Athletics Website
Applying This Wisdom in Your Own Life
This powerful concept extends far beyond the basketball court. You can apply it in business, parenting, and friendships. When a colleague asks for help, try sharing your experience instead of giving a directive. Start your sentences with phrases that signal an opinion. For example, you could say, “In my experience…” or “What helped me in a similar situation was…”
This approach fosters a more collaborative environment. It encourages team members to think critically and take ownership of their solutions. Furthermore, it shows that you respect their abilities. In personal relationships, offering opinions instead of advice can prevent conflict. It allows you to support loved ones without making them feel controlled. You can provide your perspective while empowering them to forge their own path. In summary, this small shift in language can create a large, positive impact on your interactions.