“A bore is a person who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.”
This single sentence captures a universal frustration with perfect clarity. It’s a witty observation that feels both modern and timeless. We have all encountered this person. They drain our energy and steal our quiet moments. Yet, they offer no meaningful connection in return. The quote’s brilliance lies in its precision. However, its origin is far less clear. The phrase has journeyed through centuries, collecting attributions like a rolling stone gathers moss. Untangling its history reveals a fascinating story about how ideas spread and evolve. Source
Several notable figures are linked to this memorable definition. The list includes Irish wit Oscar Wilde and the 18th-century Italian scholar Gian Vincenzo Gravina. More recently, novelist John D. MacDonald and film critic Roger Ebert have also been credited. This diverse cast of characters spans different eras and disciplines. Consequently, tracing the true author becomes a complex but intriguing detective story.
The First Clue: A Magazine and a Ghost
The earliest known appearance of this quote is in the March 1949 issue of Reader’s Digest. The magazine attributed the line to “Gian Vincenzo Gravina, contemporary Italian author.” This attribution, however, immediately creates a puzzle. The historical Gian Vincenzo Gravina was a prominent jurist and literary critic who died in 1718. He was certainly not a contemporary figure in 1949. This chronological error suggests a few possibilities. Perhaps it was a case of mistaken identity.
Alternatively, someone may have used Gravina’s distinguished name as a pseudonym. Reader’s Digest often accepted submissions from its readers. The magazine also compensated them for quotable tidbits. Therefore, it is possible the verification process was not rigorous, leading to this historical mix-up. The real Gravina was a significant intellectual in his time. His work focused on legal theory and literary arts. This makes the connection, however tenuous, an interesting historical footnote. Source
A Familiar Echo in Proust
Interestingly, a similar concept appeared decades earlier in European literature. Marcel Proust, in his 1923 novel La Prisonnière (The Captive), explored a related sentiment. In the book, a character references Madame de Sévigné’s thoughts on certain social events. These gatherings, she felt, “deprive us of solitude without affording us company.” While the phrasing is different, the core idea is identical. This parallel suggests the concept was part of the intellectual ether long before it was distilled into its most famous form. It shows a shared human experience recognized by thinkers across different cultures and times.
. Proust (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)
The Quote Crosses the Atlantic
The definition began to circulate in American popular culture in the late 1940s. In March 1949, The Jackson Sun in Tennessee printed the statement without any attribution. Subsequently, in May 1949, The Pensacola News-Journal featured it as its “Quote of the Day.” By November of that year, Quote: The Weekly Digest was repeating the Reader’s Digest attribution to Gravina. These publications helped cement the phrase in the American consciousness. A notable correction appeared in Arthur Duxbury’s 1952 book, Duxbury’s Notebook for Speakers. He correctly identified Gravina as an 18th-century figure, showing that some were starting to question the quote’s origin story.
Modern Champions: MacDonald and Ebert
The quote found a new audience through American fiction. John D. MacDonald featured it in his 1974 novel The Turquoise Lament. His popular character, Travis McGee, hears the line from his intellectual friend, Meyer. Meyer attributes it to “Gian Gravina,” keeping the Italian connection alive. MacDonald’s widely-read Travis McGee series introduced the saying to millions of new readers. One of those readers was the influential film critic Roger Ebert. He referenced the quote in a 1976 article, crediting MacDonald’s character for it. This demonstrates how a memorable phrase can leap from one cultural touchstone to another, gaining new life with each mention. Oscar Wilde – Biography and Works
The Oscar Wilde Misattribution
Today, many people attribute the quote to Oscar Wilde – The Oscar Wilde Society. This connection, however, appears to be a very recent invention. Evidence suggests it emerged online around 2008, most prominently on the website Goodreads. Attaching the quote to Wilde happened more than a century after his death. This is a classic case of the “quote magnet” phenomenon. Famous wits like Wilde, Mark Twain, and Winston Churchill often have clever sayings incorrectly attributed to them. Their reputation for sharp aphorisms makes them plausible authors for almost any witty remark. While the sentiment certainly aligns with Wilde’s style, there is no historical evidence linking him to the phrase.
. The Oscar Wilde Society – Official Website
In summary, the journey of this quote is a perfect example of cultural transmission. It likely began as a floating piece of wisdom. Then, it was first formally documented with a flawed attribution. Afterward, it was popularized by novelists and critics before being posthumously gifted to a literary icon. While we may never know for certain who first crafted this perfect definition of a bore, its enduring appeal is undeniable. The phrase resonates because it speaks a truth we have all felt. It gives us the perfect words for an experience that is, thankfully, not solitary.