“I like people who make me like them. Saves me so much trouble forcing myself to like them.”
This witty observation comes from L.M. Montgomery, the celebrated author of Anne of Green Gables. The quote captures a deeply relatable human experience. It speaks to the relief of genuine connection in a world that often demands social performance. At its core, the statement champions authenticity over obligation. It cleverly highlights the emotional labor involved in maintaining relationships that do not come naturally. Instead of feeling guilty, Montgomery frames this preference as a practical way to conserve energy.
This sentiment resonates because we have all been there. We have all felt the subtle exhaustion of feigning interest. We know the strain of a conversation that just will not flow. Therefore, encountering someone you instantly click with feels like a gift. It removes the burden of social effort and replaces it with genuine enjoyment. The connection feels effortless because it is real.
The Joy of Effortless Connection
The first part of the quote, “I like people who make me like them,” is key. This isn’t about people-pleasing or manipulative charm. Instead, it refers to individuals whose genuine nature is inherently appealing. These are people who are kind, funny, interesting, or simply comfortable in their own skin. Their authenticity is magnetic. You do not have to search for reasons to appreciate them; their positive qualities are immediately apparent.
This effortlessness is the foundation of our most treasured relationships. Think about your closest friends. You likely did not decide to like them through a calculated process. Rather, something about them simply drew you in. Perhaps it was a shared sense of humor, a common interest, or their warm demeanor. The bond formed organically, without force or pretense. These connections energize us rather than drain us. They add to our lives without demanding emotional heavy lifting.
Escaping the Toil of Forced Friendliness
The second half of the quote reveals the core dilemma: “Saves me so much trouble forcing myself to like them.” This line is a quiet rebellion against social expectations. Society often pressures us to be pleasant and agreeable with everyone. While politeness is valuable, it can sometimes become a form of emotional labor. We smile at colleagues we find difficult. We make small talk at parties when we would rather be home. We expend finite social energy to maintain a frictionless existence.
Montgomery’s words give us permission to acknowledge this effort. They validate the feeling that our social battery is a precious resource. . Consequently, spending time with people who are easy to like is not lazy; it is an efficient use of that energy. It allows us to save our best selves for the people and connections that truly matter and bring us joy. Source
Authenticity in a Modern World
In today’s hyper-connected world, this century-old quote feels more relevant than ever. Social media platforms can create an environment of performative friendliness. We curate our profiles and interact in ways designed to be liked. However, this often leads to a wide network of shallow connections rather than a small circle of deep, authentic ones. The pressure to engage can feel immense, turning social life into another chore.
Applying Montgomery’s wisdom means prioritizing quality over quantity. It involves seeking out people who you genuinely connect with, both online and off. Furthermore, it means being the kind of person someone else might find easy to like. By being your authentic self, you attract others who appreciate you for who you are. This creates a positive cycle. Genuine people attract other genuine people, building relationships that are supportive and effortless.
Ultimately, L.M. Montgomery’s quote is a simple yet profound reminder. Our social energy is finite. We should invest it wisely. By surrounding ourselves with people whose company we naturally enjoy, we do more than just save ourselves trouble. We build a life rich with meaningful, energizing, and authentic connections.