If I Owned Hell and Texas, I Would Rent Texas and Live at the Other Place

“If I owned Hell and Texas, I would rent Texas and live at the other place.”

The Legacy of a Remarkable Quip

Few expressions from American history have stood the test of time like the humorous comparison between Texas and the underworld. This quip, often attributed to General Philip Sheridan, humorously suggests a preference for the infernal regions over the Lone Star State. Its origins date back to the 19th century, sparking curiosity about its true roots and meaning. The story behind this quote offers insight into American humor and historical perspectives on Texas.

Tracing the Origins

The earliest known appearance of this quote can be traced to February 1866 in “The Mobile Daily Times,” published in Alabama. It attributed the words to General Sheridan, who reportedly expressed his disdain for Texas while stationed there. The newspaper used euphemisms to avoid printing the word “hell,” reflecting the era’s publishing norms.

Just a month later, the “Pittsburgh Gazette” provided a more direct account. It claimed Sheridan, after inspecting Texas, made the famous comparison. This version presented the words as a direct quote, enhancing the immediacy of Sheridan’s alleged remark.

Variations in Publications

Throughout 1866, various newspapers across the United States reported the quote with slight variations. Some edited the word “hell” for sensitivity, while others printed it plainly. The “Daily Free Press” of Kansas presented it unaltered, emphasizing conditions in Texas at the time. The phrase gained weight as it appeared alongside discussions of states requiring civil reform.

In May 1866, the “Public Ledger” in Tennessee added editorial comments, questioning whether Sheridan truly uttered these words. Despite doubts, the statement gained traction, spreading through the press and public discourse.

Sheridan’s Personal Account

In 1880, during a visit to Galveston, Texas, Sheridan addressed the remark directly. He recounted the grueling conditions he faced traveling across Texas and his exasperation upon arrival. Dust-covered and weary, Sheridan responded to a reporter’s inquiry about his thoughts on Texas, leading to the now-famous quip. He clarified that his words reflected his frustration with the timing of the question, not a genuine dislike for Texas.

Adaptation and Broader Use

The adaptability of this quote allowed it to transcend its original context. Over the years, variations emerged, applying the structure to critique other locations or situations. For instance, a version directed at England surfaced, showcasing the quote’s versatility and enduring appeal.

Discrepancies in Dating

Despite widespread attribution to 1866, some sources incorrectly dated the quote to 1855, during a speech at Fort Clark, Texas. Source This earlier date conflicts with Sheridan’s own account and numerous contemporary newspaper reports. The 1866 timeline is supported by substantial evidence from the period, affirming it as the accurate origin date .

Conclusion: A Timeless Expression

Sheridan’s quip about Texas and the infernal regions remains a testament to how humor can encapsulate cultural and historical sentiments. His words, born from a moment of irritation, have achieved lasting fame, illustrating the power of wit and timing. Whether embraced or challenged by Texans, the quote endures as a lively piece of American folklore, reflecting both historical realities and the enduring spirit of humor.