“On meurt deux Source fois, je le vois bien : > > Cesser d’aimer & d’être aimable, > > C’est une mort insupportable : > > Cesser de vivre, ce n’est rien.”
These haunting lines were not written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Instead, he copied them from a play by French dramatist Antoine-Marin Lemierre. The words translate to: “We die twice, I see it well: To cease to love and be lovable is an insupportable death; To cease to live is nothing.” Coleridge’s choice to record this sentiment in his personal notebook offers a profound glimpse into his mind. It reveals a man tormented by personal demons and shaped by the turbulent Romantic era.
This quote encapsulates a lifetime of struggle. Antoine-Marin Lemierre | French dramatist Specifically, it reflects Coleridge’s battles with addiction, his painful romantic life, and his constant search for peace. To understand its significance, we must explore the man behind the poetry and the world he inhabited.
The Man Behind the Words: Coleridge’s Personal Torment
Coleridge’s life was far from the tranquil image his nature poetry might suggest. Source He suffered from chronic health problems. Doctors at the time often prescribed laudanum, a tincture of opium and alcohol, for various ailments. Consequently, Coleridge developed a severe and lifelong addiction to the substance. This addiction became a central force in his life, bringing both fleeting inspiration and immense suffering. .
His dependence on opium led to debilitating insomnia and terrifying nightmares, which he called “night-scourges.” For a man who could not find rest, sleep became a precious, almost sacred concept. In his famous poem, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, he calls sleep a “gentle thing, / Beloved from pole to pole!” This line shows his deep yearning for the simple peace that eluded him. The absence of sleep was a constant torment. Therefore, the idea of an “insupportable death” of the spirit resonated more deeply with him than the finality of physical death.
Love, Loss, and an Unsupportable Death
Coleridge’s emotional life was equally turbulent. He was trapped in a deeply unhappy marriage with Sara Fricker. Furthermore, he harbored a passionate but unrequited love for Sara Hutchinson, the sister of William Wordsworth’s wife. This impossible love was a source of profound anguish. It made him feel the sting of the line “To cease to love and be lovable” on a personal level. He felt unlovable in his marriage and was unable to pursue the love he truly desired.
This emotional pain undoubtedly colored his worldview. For Coleridge, the death of the heart—the loss of love and connection—was a living hell. In contrast, the mere cessation of life seemed like a simple, almost peaceful, end. The French couplet perfectly articulated the hierarchy of his suffering. His personal despair gave the words a weight they might not have for someone else. This context transforms the quote from a philosophical musing into a desperate personal cry.
The Romantic Era’s Influence
The broader cultural context of the Romantic movement also sheds light on Coleridge’s fascination with these themes. The Romantics championed intense emotion, individualism, and the power of the imagination. They explored the full spectrum of human experience, from sublime joy to deep despair. Artists and writers were particularly interested in dreams, visions, and other altered states of consciousness. Many believed these states provided access to deeper truths.
Coleridge’s own work often delves into the supernatural and the subconscious. His fragmented masterpiece, Kubla Khan, was famously conceived during an opium-induced dream. This fascination with the mind’s hidden corners aligns with the period’s intellectual currents. Sleep and dreams were not just biological functions. Instead, they were portals to other worlds and sources of profound insight or terror. This cultural backdrop helps explain why a poet like Coleridge would be so attuned to the psychological nuances of life, death, and the state of being unloved.
In conclusion, while Coleridge did not pen these famous lines, his life made him their ideal audience. The quote resonated with his deepest pains: his addiction-fueled insomnia, his unrequited love, and his chronic illness. It was a perfect summary of his belief that a life without love was a fate worse than death. Ultimately, his transcription of the quote tells us as much about his own heart as any poem he ever wrote.