“On meurt deux fois, je le vois bien :
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Cesser d’aimer & d’être aimable,
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C’est une mort insupportable :
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Cesser de vivre, ce n’est rien.”. Source
This poignant 18th-century French verse translates to: “We die twice, I see it well: To cease to love and be lovable, is an unbearable death: To cease to live is nothing.” These words, often attributed to Voltaire but penned by Antoine-Vincent Arnault, offer a profound insight. They suggest that the true tragedy is not the end of our physical existence. Instead, the real death is a spiritual one. It is the loss of connection, love, and the vibrancy of being alive in the world. This is where the practice of gratitude and present moment awareness becomes essential. They are our tools to fight this “unbearable death” every single day.
Embracing the present moment is the antidote to a life lived in the shadows of past regrets or future anxieties. It pulls us back from the brink of emotional and spiritual numbness. Therefore, by focusing on the now, we actively choose to love and be lovable, fully inhabiting our lives. Robert Holden – Official Website
The Unbearable Death: Losing Connection to the Now
Arnault’s first death—ceasing to love and be lovable—describes a state of disconnection. This happens when our minds are constantly elsewhere. We worry about tomorrow’s to-do list during a family dinner. We replay a past mistake while a friend shares their joy. In these moments, we are not truly living. We are merely existing as ghosts in our own lives. This mental chatter robs us of the ability to give and receive love, creating an invisible barrier between ourselves and the world.
Consequently, this disconnection fosters a sense of emptiness. Life loses its color and texture. The joy of a simple pleasure, like the warmth of the sun or the taste of coffee, disappears. We become spectators rather than participants. This is the unbearable death the poem warns against. It is a slow fading of the spirit while the body continues to move. It is a profound loss that happens not at the end of life, but during it.
Gratitude as the Bridge to Presence
How do we combat this slow, spiritual fading? The journey back to the present often begins with a single, powerful step: gratitude. Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It is an active practice of noticing the good that already exists in our lives. It anchors us firmly in the present moment, forcing us to see what is here, right now, instead of what is missing or what might be.
When you pause to feel grateful for a warm bed, a nourishing meal, or a kind word, you are practicing presence. You are engaging your senses and emotions with your current reality. This simple act rewires the brain. Indeed, numerous studies confirm that a consistent gratitude practice can significantly boost happiness and reduce depressive symptoms. . It shifts our focus from scarcity to abundance. Source
Cultivating a Grateful Heart
Starting a gratitude practice is simple. You can begin by keeping a daily journal. Each evening, write down three to five things you were grateful for that day. Be specific. Instead of just writing “my family,” you could write, “the way my daughter laughed at my joke.” This specificity makes the feeling more tangible. Furthermore, you can express your gratitude directly to others. A heartfelt thank you can strengthen bonds and amplify positive feelings for both people involved. These small, consistent actions build a powerful foundation for a more present and connected life.
From Gratitude to Glimpses of Now
Gratitude opens the door, and mindfulness is the practice of walking through it. While gratitude helps us appreciate the present, mindfulness teaches us to inhabit it fully, without judgment. This is about noticing the continuous flow of your experience. It could be the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. It could be the sounds of the city outside your window. The goal is not to empty your mind but to observe its activity from a place of calm awareness.
For example, try a simple five-minute breathing meditation. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Focus all your attention on your breath. Notice the feeling of the air moving through your nostrils and filling your lungs. When your mind wanders—and it will—gently guide it back to your breath. This is not a failure; it is the practice itself. Each time you return to the breath, you strengthen your “presence muscle.” Consistently practicing mindfulness can lead to a significant reduction in stress. In fact, many people report feeling calmer after just a few weeks.
A New Perspective on Living and Dying
The final line, “To cease to live is nothing,” is perhaps the most challenging. However, it is not a call for nihilism. Instead, it offers liberation. When you live each day with presence, connection, and gratitude, the fear of physical death loses its power. You understand that the quality of your moments matters more than the quantity of your days. The real tragedy is a life unlived, a heart unloved, and a present moment ignored.
By embracing the now, you are already living fully. You are engaging in the act of loving and being lovable. Therefore, the physical end becomes just another transition, not a terrifying void. The focus shifts from fearing death to cherishing life. This perspective gives each day a sense of preciousness and purpose. It encourages us to make the most of the only time we ever truly have: right now.
In summary, the wisdom of the poem guides us toward a more meaningful existence. It reminds us that our greatest task is to stay connected to life, to love, and to the present moment. Through practices like gratitude and mindfulness, we can ensure that we are truly alive until our very last breath.