“On meurt deux Source fois, je le vois bien : > > Cesser d’aimer & d’être aimable, > > C’est une mort insupportable : > > Cesser de vivre, ce n’est rien.”
This poignant reflection on life and love is often attributed to Jane Austen. Its sentiment certainly feels at home in her world of drawing rooms and intricate social webs. However, the words do not belong to her. They were penned by the French philosopher Voltaire in a letter. This small fact does not diminish the quote’s power. Instead, it invites a deeper exploration of its meaning. It also helps us understand why so many associate it with Austen’s enduring literary universe.
Voltaire (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy) presents a striking idea: we all face two deaths. The first is a social and emotional one. It is the cessation of loving and being lovable. This death, he argues, is unbearable. The second death is merely the end of our physical existence. In comparison, he considers this to be nothing. This philosophy prioritizes our connections and our capacity for love above mere biological life. It suggests that a life without love is not truly a life at all. This theme resonates powerfully within the pages of Jane Austen’s novels.
The Unbearable Death: Losing Love and Connection
Voltaire’s “unbearable death” is the core of human social experience. To cease loving is to lose a fundamental purpose. To cease being lovable is to become isolated. This represents a complete disconnection from the community and relationships that give life meaning. In essence, it is a spiritual and social demise that precedes any physical one. It is the quiet horror of becoming irrelevant, unseen, and unloved.
This is precisely the terror that haunts the characters in Jane Austen’s world. Her novels are not tales of grand adventure or physical peril. Instead, they are intense dramas about securing a place in society. This placement depends almost entirely on one’s ability to love and be loved. For an Austen heroine, a poor marriage or, worse, no marriage at all, was a form of social death. It meant a loss of agency, security, and social standing. Consequently, the stakes in her stories feel incredibly high.
Consider Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice. She marries the insufferable Mr. Collins not for love, but for security. She consciously chooses a life devoid of deep affection to avoid the social death of spinsterhood. Austen presents her choice with sympathy, not judgment. Charlotte actively sidesteps the “unbearable death” of social irrelevance. However, she accepts a life where the capacity to love her partner is absent. Her choice highlights the brutal pressures of her society.
Physical Demise: A Mere Footnote
In contrast, Voltaire dismisses the physical act of dying as “nothing.” This is a classic philosophical stance. It suggests our legacy and our essence are tied to our impact on others, not our heartbeats. Once our ability to connect is gone, the rest is just mechanics. The body may continue, but the person, in a social sense, has already vanished. This makes the preservation of our emotional lives the most critical task we face.
Jane Austen’s narratives masterfully reflect this idea. The ultimate tragedies in her books are never physical deaths; they are social ruins. For instance, when Lydia Bennet elopes with Wickham, the family’s panic is not for her physical safety. They fear the complete and utter destruction of their family’s reputation. Lydia’s actions threaten to make her sisters unmarriageable. This would condemn them to a life of dependency and social invisibility. Her potential fate is an “unbearable death” for the entire Bennet family. The threat is social annihilation, a fate far worse than any simple illness or accident in Austen’s world.
The Austen-Voltaire Connection
So, why is this quote so often linked to Austen? The connection is thematic, not literal. Voltaire’s words perfectly articulate the central conflict of almost every Austen novel. Her characters constantly navigate the perilous journey of learning to love and be lovable. They must do so within a rigid society that threatens social death at every misstep. Elizabeth Bennet must overcome her prejudice. Mr. Darcy must conquer his pride. They must both become “lovable” to each other to find happiness.
Austen’s work champions the development of a character’s inner life. Her heroines achieve fulfillment not just by marrying, but by becoming better people. They learn empathy, wisdom, and the true nature of love. This journey is the antidote to the unbearable death Voltaire describes. A life rich with genuine connection, self-awareness, and love is the ultimate triumph. It is a life truly lived. Therefore, the quote feels like it belongs to her, even if she never wrote it. It serves as a perfect thesis statement for her entire body of work.
Enduring Wisdom in a Modern World
The fear of this first death remains potent today. Source In our hyper-connected digital age, the pressure to be “lovable” has taken on new forms. We curate our lives on social media, seeking validation through likes, shares, and follows. The fear of being ignored, unfollowed, or “cancelled” is a modern echo of the social death feared by Austen’s characters. This intense pressure can lead to widespread feelings of isolation and anxiety. Indeed, many experts note a paradox in our society: we are more connected technologically but feel more alone than ever.
This modern reality makes Voltaire’s and Austen’s focus on genuine connection even more relevant. True “lovability” is not about public performance. It is about cultivating authentic relationships and a strong sense of self. It requires empathy, vulnerability, and the courage to love. These are the timeless lessons we find in Austen’s novels. They remind us that a life of meaning is built on the quality of our connections, not the quantity of our followers.
In conclusion, the misattributed quote provides a fascinating lens through which to view Jane Austen’s work. While Voltaire gave us the words, Austen gave us the world where their truth plays out with devastating and beautiful accuracy. Both writers understood a profound human truth. The greatest tragedy is not leaving the world, but living in it without the connections that make it worthwhile. A life without love, in any century, is an unbearable experience. The ultimate goal, as Austen’s heroines discover, is to live a life so full of connection that the second death truly is “nothing” in comparison.