“You can’t do anything about the length of your life. But you can do something about its width and depth.”
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– Evan Esar
This powerful sentiment from American humorist Evan Esar offers a profound perspective on existence. It challenges us to shift our focus from a quantity we cannot control—time—to qualities we can actively shape. We often get caught up in worrying about how long we will live. However, Esar’s wisdom reminds us that a truly fulfilling life is not measured in years alone. Instead, it is measured by the richness of our experiences, the strength of our connections, and the meaning we create.
This idea invites us to become architects of our own lives. We can choose to build a life that is wide with variety and deep with purpose. Let’s explore how to embrace this philosophy and transform our everyday existence.
The Metaphor: Unpacking Length, Width, and Depth
To fully grasp Esar’s message, we must first understand the core metaphors he uses. Each dimension represents a different aspect of the human experience. Recognizing their roles helps us direct our energy more effectively toward what truly matters.
Life’s Length: The Uncontrollable Variable
The “length” of life is its duration. It is the chronological timeline from birth to death. Modern medicine and healthier lifestyles can certainly extend our lifespans. Yet, the ultimate length of our life remains largely beyond our individual control. Accidents happen and illnesses occur unexpectedly. Obsessing over this variable can lead to anxiety and fear. Consequently, Esar suggests that we accept this uncertainty. By doing so, we free up mental and emotional energy to focus on the areas where we have genuine influence.
Life’s Width: Expanding Your Horizons
This is where our power truly lies. The “width” of life refers to the breadth of our experiences. It’s about how much we see, do, and feel. A wide life is filled with variety, curiosity, and adventure. It involves stepping outside of your comfort zone. For example, you could learn a new language, travel to an unfamiliar country, or pick up a challenging hobby.
Widening your life means engaging with the world in diverse ways. It involves building relationships with different kinds of people and exploring new ideas. Each new experience adds another layer to your existence, making it richer and more interesting. This approach combats monotony and keeps the spirit of discovery alive, regardless of your age.
Practical Strategies for a Wider, Deeper Life
Understanding the concept is the first step. The next, more important step is to put it into action. Fortunately, you can start widening and deepening your life today with intentional choices and small, consistent habits. These strategies focus on curiosity, connection, and contribution.
Cultivate Insatiable Curiosity
Curiosity is the engine of a wide life. It pushes you to learn, explore, and grow. Make a commitment to be a lifelong learner. You can read books on subjects you know nothing about. Additionally, you could watch documentaries that challenge your worldview. Sign up for an online course or a local workshop. Never assume you know everything. Instead, approach the world with a beginner’s mind, always ready to ask questions and seek answers. This mindset turns every day into an opportunity for discovery.
Prioritize Meaningful Connections
Human relationships add immense width and depth to our lives. Nurturing strong bonds with family, friends, and community is essential. Research consistently shows that the quality of our social connections is a primary predictor of long-term happiness and health. . Source
Therefore, invest time and energy in the people who matter. Be present when you are with them. Listen actively and share openly. Furthermore, seek out new connections. Join a club, volunteer for a cause you care about, or simply strike up a conversation with a neighbor. These connections create a support system and a shared sense of belonging.
Embrace Discomfort and New Experiences
Growth rarely happens within the confines of your comfort zone. To widen your life, you must be willing to try new things, even if they seem intimidating. This doesn’t have to mean climbing a mountain or quitting your job. It can be as simple as trying a new type of food, taking a different route to work, or speaking up in a meeting.
Each time you embrace a new experience, you expand your capabilities and build resilience. You prove to yourself that you can handle uncertainty. Over time, these small acts of courage accumulate, creating a life that is broad, dynamic, and full of interesting stories.
The Final Dimension: Finding Your Depth
While width is about the variety of experiences, depth is about their meaning. A deep life is one of purpose and introspection. It involves understanding your values and living in alignment with them. Depth comes from reflecting on your experiences and asking important questions. What did I learn? How did this change me? What truly matters to me?
It also comes from contribution. Finding a way to serve something larger than yourself, whether it’s your community, a cause, or your family, adds a profound sense of purpose. This depth provides an anchor, giving your life meaning and direction. It ensures that your wide array of experiences are not just a collection of random events, but part of a cohesive, purposeful journey.
In summary, Evan Esar’s quote is a timeless reminder to live intentionally. We cannot choose our final day, but we can choose how we fill all the days in between. By focusing on life’s width and depth, we can create a legacy of rich experiences, strong relationships, and meaningful purpose. That is a life truly well-lived.